My Guardian Angel

I have been thinking daily about my Grandma Spencer lately. She has been gone for many years now. It's not that I don't think of her other times. But, lately I have been thinking of her EVERY day. I see her face, hear her voice or see that smile.

 

This morning, it brought tears to my eyes. I don't know that I have ever had this specific feeling before. I felt her. I truly felt her presence with me as I was getting ready for work. It was overwhelming. It was real. And while it brought tears to my eyes, it brought me comfort too.

 

When I was a little girl, she was so sweet to me. She had a grocery store and I went to stay with her. She would wake me up each morning. Not by turning on the light and hollering to wake up. But, by sitting on the bed and rubbing my back or lifting me up and holding me while waking me. Then we would get dressed and go to Maxine's Cafe on Broadway in Drumright on the way to the store. I would get a cup of hot chocolate and each morning the bread man would come in the cafe and give me Red Zingers. I always loved Red Zingers. Then we would go and open the store.

 

The memory of her treating me that way is so vivid and so real. It always stuck with me and I remembered that feeling when my own children were small and I would wake them up. I hope they will remember it too.

 

One time Grandma was at our house in Sand Springs. Troy and I were in the kitchen and we were in each others arms. She walked in and we sort of "jumped" and stepped apart. I said "Oh Grandma, I'm sorry." She smiled, laughed and said, "Don't ever apologize for loving each other and showing it."

 

During that same visit, it was cold outside. We kept a fire in the fireplace and moved a chair and ottoman close to the fire. She sat in that chair and read a book, watched tv and snuggled with our Schnauzer, Fritz. He would lay on her feet and keep her warm. It was like he was watching over her. She loved it and we loved seeing her happy and content in our home.

 

One day Troy and I were in Prattville and walking out of Arby's. There were two older ladies walking in as we walked out. As I walked past them I smelled my Grandma. That soft, powdery smell. Before I got out the door I was in tears. I turned and looked at Troy and he said, "I know, I smelled Grandma too." Bittersweet.

 

Grandma Spencer was such a special woman. I don't remember her speaking ill of others, using foul language or being unkind. I am sure she had her moments, but I never saw them. Not that I can remember.

 

I felt compelled to write about her tonight. Life is a daily struggle for many of us. I have certainly had my fair share of stress and struggles recently. I believe my thinking of her so often lately is her closeness and that she has been watching over me. I know she was surrounding me this morning with her love and compassion and most of all the comfort she always gave me. I don't know if you believe. And quite honestly, I don't care if anyone else believes. I felt her and I am grateful for my very special Guardian Angel. I will always love you Grandma. You are always in my heart.